Je suis Charlie

Je suis Charlie

Tuesday, 25 June 2019

Dearly Beloved by Mary Jo Putney #DearlyBeloved







LOVE MUST FIND A WAY . . .

A sheltered life in the countryside has left Diana Lindsay restless to see the wider world, for both herself and the son she is raising alone. She cannot marry, but perhaps as a courtesan she will find love and protection despite her painful past. Gathering her courage, she moves to London--and finds herself the city's most desired woman, as admired for her charm as for her beauty. But it is one man who captivates her--handsome, haunted, and harboring a secret as deep as her own . . .

Bound by the sins of his youth, Gervase Brandelin, the Viscount St. Aubyn, has spent his adulthood seeking redemption through service to England. Now a spymaster, he can allow nothing to distract him from his duty. But when he meets Diana, his burdens seem to lift. Though she can never truly be his alone, their genuine love fills him with hope, until a treacherous deceit--and a deadly enemy--threatens to tear them
apart forever . . .



I've got very mixed feelings when it comes to this book. On the one hand, there were long passages of it that I really enjoyed reading and I loved the dynamic and the feelings of the protagonists towards each other. On the other hand, well, right at the beginning, drunk and furious or not, the hero commits an, in my eyes, unpardonable crime. Considering the fact that this situation left him with a very young wife who he never wanted to see again - a promise that he keeps till ...well. Leaving his young wife behind, never looking back - nope, even considering the circumstances this was unforgivable and absolutely not acceptable.

When we meet the heroine, Diana Lindsay, she is raising her young son alone in the countryside, longing to see more of the world. Why she thinks that her idea of a, let's say, working vacation as a courtesan in London is an even remotely acceptable idea,...? I have no idea because it really doesn't make sense especially as she has her son to consider who already has to deal with his bouts of epilepsy which is not easy in our days and was even more difficult in those times. I really liked Geoffrey, he was a very strong character and to see how he dealt with his illness was amazing.

Okay, at least our hero and our heroine meet each other that way and fall in love. That would be nice if the circumstances were different. Oh, well, even that might have worked if we don't look at the time in which it is set and ...right. Soooo...why the heroine doesn't want to make a commitment and thinks that it is necessary for him to feel unsure about her feelings in order to be able to acknowledge his own... nope. It didn't really make sense in my eyes.

Despite their deficiencies, I really liked all of these characters (yes, even Gervase, our hero had redeeming qualities if you got to know him) but the whole story felt constructed and a bit off. There were just too many different topics to deal with. There were different kinds of abuse and rape, there were epilepsy and madness, spies and traitors, homosexuality and ...the list goes on.
No, even though I really love the other books by Mary Jo Putney that I've read and I've read quite a few already, this one is not one that I'd recommend.



Tuesday, 18 June 2019

COVER REVEAL - Defying Gravity by K.K. Allen aaaaand..... #DefyingGravity






Do you remember Center of Gravity by K.K. Allen? This amazing book about passion and love and dance? I really loved it and when I learned that there will be another standalone, a companion to it, will soon be out...yess, exactly, I can't wait!

Finally Defying Gravity is almost here...on July 25th but....read for yourself - amazing things are happening and there are great books ahead:

Their greatest risk was the one they never took …

Surprise! USA Today bestselling author K.K. Allen has not only one, but two new amazing covers today!
In bigger news, Falling from Gravity, a bonus prequel, will be FREE to download July 20th, and Defying Gravity, an all-new standalone sports romance, will be here just five days later on July 25th!





It was an accidental spring fling three years ago—one week spent in the mountains of Big Sur and no one was the wiser. Ignore the fact that Tobias James was my neighbor and my best friend’s older brother. Or that upon our return his hoop dreams were waiting for him, robbing us of any potential future we could have shared.

Now, I’m fulfilling my own dreams in L.A. and my biggest dream of all is about to come true. The last thing I expected was for my past and my present to collide.

Not now. Not here. Not him.

But he struts back into my life like he never even left. Unfortunately, I’ll never forget what happened after he did.

The ball is in my court, but Tobias isn’t below stealing—my power, my resolve, my heart… When he wants a second chance to reignite our connection, my answer is simple. We can’t.

Not unless we defy the rules our dreams were built on and risk everything.

Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2WtjFcI



 

"Loved, loved, loved Amelia and Tobias!!! Their chemistry is off the charts, and I read Falling from Gravity in one sitting!"- Parker S. Huntington, USA Today bestselling author

If I hadn’t considered Amelia dangerous before, I certainly did now. She wasn’t anything like I had expected. Even after all these years—of living so close to her, of listening to her giggle with my sister in the bedroom next to mine—I hadn’t given much thought to my sister’s best friend.

But in the span of one week, everything had changed.

Everything.


Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2MPJzYJ

Enter the giveaway: smarturl.it/CenterofGravity


Cover Designer: Okay Creations
Photographer: Perrywinkle Photography
Models: Calypso an

BLOG TOUR - On the Rocks by Kandi Steiner #OnTheRocks








 

On the Rocks, an all-new standalone contemporary romance by Kandi Steiner is LIVE!


Noah Becker is nothing but trouble.

That’s what Mama told me when I was a kid, kicking his pew in church and giggling at the games we’d play. It’s what the town said when his father died and the Becker brothers went wild.

And it’s on repeat in my mind the day I walk into the whiskey distillery where he works to buy a wedding gift for my fiancé.

He’s trouble.
Dirty, sweaty, rude trouble.

No matter how many times I repeat it, I can’t escape Noah in our small Tennessee town. And the more I run into him, the more he infuriates me. Because he sees what no one else does.

He sees me—the real me.

The me I’m not sure I’m allowed to be.

I’m Ruby Grace Barnett, the mayor’s daughter. Soon to be a politician’s wife, just like Mama and Daddy always wanted. Soon to fulfill my family’s legacy, just like I always knew I would.

Until the boy everyone warned me about makes me question everything, like whether the wedding I’m planning is one I even want.

Everyone said Noah Becker was nothing but trouble.

If only I had listened.



 Noah Becker is nothing but trouble...

...but he definitely is the right kind of trouble! At least for Ruby Grace who comes to the distillery to get a wedding gift for her fiancé and finds so much more.
What do you do, when the first one to see you, you as a person with all your dreams and all your hopes, is the one everybody warns you away from?
Well, if you are Ruby Grace, you might find that everybody doesn't always know what is best for you and you might want to find out for yourself what life really has in store for you. Your well-suited and ambitious fiancé or the trouble-maker, the rude and dirty one - who is really the right one for you?

I loved every single page of this book that kept me on my toes and made me laugh and swoon and I might have used a few choice words when we learn a bit more about said fiancé and his character. Noah and his brothers are amazing characters, very down to earth and hardworking but very close as a family and always there for each other and those that they care for.

"That was a brother's love. It was resilient, and always there - even when we didn't deserve it." (Chapter 17)
Life has changed a lot ever since the fire that took their father and left some very big questions that still haven't been answered. I would really love to know more about it, I want to know what really happened and why...

Back to our hero and our heroine though. I loved the chemistry, the slow burn and even though Ruby Grace was engaged to someone else, it never felt as if they would cheat. Sure, they didn't act on their feelings, not really, but you can feel that they belong together and the more you get to know her and the more you learn about her fiancé the more it feels as if there was something missing, something that is there when she is with Noah. And Noah feels the same and he wants her to be his and be there for her

"We're in this together, and it's not just about me and my dreams. It's about you and yours, too."
(Chapter 16)

Some decisions are not his to make though and when the worst happened...I was devastated. Absolutely devastated. Soooo....well, you should just read it and find out for yourself.
All in all this book is amazing and captivating and I really enjoyed reading it. You shouldn't forget the handkerchiefs and if you are prone to laugh out loud while reading, well, you'd better don't read this book in public. This book really had it all, all the feelings, all the fun, and the tears and the amazing
characters wrapped up in a great story.
★★

Monday, 17 June 2019

BRAND NEW COVERS.... #RelentlesSeries




...for the most amazing series around! 

Do you remember the 
Relentless series by Karen Lynch?




and Nikolas' book 



It's Roland's story next:


And then there was Chris...



...and last but definitely not least but the full package and so much more because Jordan is the...

 


Aren't they simply gorgeous?!? I can't decide which one I love best because they are all amazing! 

 The Trilogy, well, it's not just a cover but it's also a story there that is told in these three covers and I love it! 
Warrior? Strong, passionate Nikolas and his swords are so much  THIS, this cover fits him perfectly!
Haven, with our wolves who love nature and this cover with its warm and earthy tones and, oh, so much more!
Fated for Chris and our dove...and of course Jordan's
Hellion. Pinkish, girly and at the same time, strong and intense and, well, the dagger...that's a story for another time, right? 

Did I mention that I love these covers? I loved the old ones as well but these are simply stunning!


And? Do you like them?

(By the way - these beauties were created by
The Illustrated Author Design Services)


Saturday, 15 June 2019

BLOG TOUR - Jackson (Eternity Springs: The McBrides of Texas Trilogy #1) by Emily March #Jackson









From New York Times bestselling author Emily March comes Jackson, the newest novel in the critically acclaimed Eternity Springs series.
Sometimes it takes a new beginning
Caroline Carruthers thinks she buried her dreams along with the love of her life…until a stranger named Celeste dares her to chase a dream all on her own. Moving to Redemption, Texas, is chapter one in Caroline’s new life story. Opening a bookstore is the next. Finding love is the last thing on her mind as she settles into this new place called home. But when she meets a handsome, soulful man who’s also starting over, all bets are off.
to reach a happily-ever-after
Jackson McBride came to Redemption looking only to find himself, not someone to love. Ever since his marriage ended, he’s been bitter. Sure, he used to believe in love—he even has the old song lyrics to prove it—but the Jackson of today is all business. That is, until a beautiful young widow who’s moved to town inspires a change of heart. Could it be that the myth of Redemption’s healing magic is true…and Jackson and Caroline can find a second chance at a happy ending after all?



*****

On the whole, I really loved this story with its unique and interesting characters, with all the drama and laughter and heartbreak. When Jackson and his cousins inherit a trust that makes them the owners of the Enchanted Canyon, the place "where troubled souls come to find peace"(chapter 14), their lives are about to change forever. Many days of hard work later, their B&B, the Fallen Angel is born and about to open. Jackson, who has been burned by a pretty bad divorce that cost him his little daughter, slowly starts to open up to the charming and fascinating, widowed owner of the new bookstore in town. Caroline and Jackson are both still hurting but at the same time, they are inexplicably drawn to each other. With a lot of things going on, it's not easy for them to trust - and to keep trusting no matter what the circumstances especially when tragedy brings people from Jackson's past back into their lives.

I really loved all the unique and quirky characters that are part of this story. All of them are well-developed and authentic, not just the main characters but also the secondary characters. The story was captivating and intense even though it sometimes felt as if there was a wee bit too much going on. I felt almost a bit breathless while reading and trying to keep up with everything that happened and all the characters involved. Apart from that, I loved this book. If you read it, you should be prepared though that dealing with the people from Redemption or Eternity Springs comes with a certain amount of mystery and belief (even if it's rather reluctantly) in mystery, higher powers and such things. It also comes with a set of unforgettable characters and vivid descriptions that make you want to pack up and Move. Right. Now. because of the beautiful scenery and the amazing things that they find when they explore the Enchanted Canyon.
I really enjoyed reading this book and can recommend it!



 Are you curious? Read on...

Chapter One Excerpt



Nashville, Tennessee
Bang. The judge’s gavel fell and officially crushed Jackson McBride’s heart. He closed his eyes. Bleak despair washed over him. Up until this very moment, he hadn’t believed she’d take it this far.
He’d thought she’d come to her senses. He’d thought she would recognize that this proposal was not only nonsense, but truly insane. He’d believed that somewhere deep inside of her, she still had a spark of humanity. That she wouldn’t do this to him. To them. He’d been wrong.
Damn her. Damn her and the yes-men she surrounded herself with. Damn them all to hell and back.
The enormity of what had just happened washed over him. Oh, God, how will
I survive this?
On the heels of his anguish came the rage. It erupted hot as lava, and it fired his blood and blurred his vision with a red haze of fury. He’d never hit a woman in his life. Never come close, despite plenty of provocation from her direction. In that moment had she been within reach, he might have lived up her accusations.
It scared the crap out of him. That’s what she’s brought me to.
Abruptly, he shoved back his chair so hard that it teetered, almost falling over. He strode toward the courtroom exit. “Jackson? Jackson, wait!” his attorney called, hurrying after him.
Jackson waved her off and didn’t stop. There was nothing left to be said. Nothing left to be done. No place left to go.
No little girl waiting at home to hug and cuddle and kiss good night.
The tap on the toes of Jackson’s boots clacked against the tile floor of the courthouse as his long-legged strides ate up the hallway. He shunned the elevator for the stairs and descended three flights at a rapid pace, then headed for the building’s exit. In a foolish bit of positive thinking, he’d driven his SUV to the courthouse this morning. Now the sight of the safety booster seat in the back seat made him want to kick a rock into next week.
He didn’t want to go home to a quiet, empty house. He shouldn’t go to a bar. Alcohol on top of his current mood could be a dangerous combination. Somebody probably would get hurt.
He got into the car and started the engine. For a long moment he sat unmoving, staring blindly through the windshield, his hands squeezing the steering wheel so hard that it should have cracked. When his phone rang, he ignored it.
A couple of minutes later, it rang a second time. Again, he ignored it. When it happened a third time, he finally glanced at the display to see who was calling. His cousin. Okay, maybe he would answer it.
“Hello, Boone.”
“How did the hearing go?”
Jackson couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat, so he said nothing.
Following a moment’s silence, Boone got the message. He muttered a curse, and then said, “I’m sorry, man. So damn sorry.”
“Well, it is what it is.”
“You can take another run at it.”
“Yeah.” In three years. Three years. Might as well be three decades. He cleared his throat and changed the subject. “So, how are things in Eternity Springs?”
“Good. They’re good. My friend Celeste Blessing visited my office a few minutes ago and spoke of her granite-headed cousin. Naturally, I thought of you.”
“Naturally,” Jackson dryly replied. But he felt a little less alone.
“Do you have plans this weekend? I could use your help with something.”
Pretty convenient timing. Knowing Boone, he had a spy in the courtroom. But Jackson wasn’t in the position to ignore the bone he’d been thrown. “I’m free. Whatcha got?”
“I’d like you to meet me at home.”
Jackson straightened in surprise. “You’re going back to the ranch?”
“No. Not there. I’m never going back there. However, I am talking about Texas. The Hill Country in particular. A little town west of Austin called Redemption.”
“Redemption, Texas?” Jackson repeated. For some weird reason, his heart gave a little skip. “Why there?”
“It’s a long story. Too long for a phone call. I’ll give you the entire skinny when I see you. When can you get there?”
After today’s debacle, Jackson had absolutely no reason to remain in Nashville. “When do you want me there?”
“I’ll be in later today. I’m in Austin now. I’ve been helping a friend with a project. I have a flight back to Colorado Sunday evening. The earlier you can get here the better, but I’ll make anything work.”
Jackson figured the distance and the drive time. “I’ll meet you tomorrow afternoon. Where?”
“Great. I’ll text you the info when we hang up. Bring camping gear.”
When a sound behind him had Jackson glancing up into the rearview mirror and the booster seat caught his notice, he made an instant decision. “Can’t. I’ll be on my bike.”
“You’re gonna ride your motorcycle all the way from Nashville?”
“Yes, I think I am.”
“Okay. I’ll bring stuff for both of us.” Boone hesitated a moment and added, “Hang in there,
Jackson. It’ll get better.”
No, I don’t think it will. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jackson ended the call and finally put his SUV in gear and backed out of the parking place. With the distraction of the call behind him, fury returned, and by the time he reached home, he felt like a volcano about to explode.
He threw a handful of things into his tail bag, filled his wallet with cash from his stash, and ten minutes after his arrival, he fired up his bike and took his broken heart and headed out of Nashville. He left behind his home, his work, and his one reason for living, his six-year-old daughter, Haley.



From Jackson. Copyright © 2019 by Emily March and reprinted with permission from St. Martin’s Paperbacks.


Friday, 14 June 2019

BLOG TOUR - 28 Dates (Crazy Love #3) by Stacey Lynn #28Dates







 28 Dates (Crazy Love #3) by Stacey Lynn

28 Dates, a captivating all-new friends-to-lovers romance by Stacey Lynn is now live!

In the age of apps and social media, how many dates does it take to find “the one”? The author of Knocked Up and Fake Wife swipes right on love with a captivating friends-to-lovers tale.
Caitlin Pappas is a lifelong commitment-phobe. The closest thing she’s had to a relationship in the last few years was a friends-with-benefits thing that fizzled out because the guy wanted more. So when she and her best friend design a new app that promises to find “the one” in 28 Dates, Caitlin is the perfect guinea pig. Little does she know that she may have already met her match. . . .
Jonas Reeves has tried his best to move on after Caitlin didn’t want take things to the next level. Now they really are just friends . . . without benefits. Caitlin’s even a regular at his bar, The Dirty Martini. But when he learns that Caitlin plans to beta-test a new dating app on his home turf, Jonas senses a golden opportunity to win her heart. Even if he has to slide into her DMs to do it. . . .

*****

 We met Jonas and Caitlin in the Fake Wife, the first book in this series. It's their story now and...well, it's complicated. What can you do when love is not enough, when you love someone deeply but for reasons of his - or in this case her - own, they run the moment something looks even remotely like some kind of commitment?

Caitlin is still trying to get over the end of her (commitment-free) friends-with-benefits arrangement with Jonas. Jonas found someone right afterward but Caitlin is just starting to realize that she feels lonely. When her best friend and boss talks her into trying out a dating app, she isn't overly enjoyed because - yeah, commitment-phobe, but she tries.

"But I can't be alone forever, either, and maybe it's time to give something else a chance."  (chapter 3)

Some interesting experiences later that make her rethink this stand somewhat because something else,
right, some things are definitely something else, she is still trying though and with Jonas seeing a chance for the two of them, now that she has opened herself up to the possibility of something more, things get interesting. Jonas gives his all and works hard for another chance with the one woman he can't forget. So, to fight for her heart, he has to be a bit sneaky ...

I really loved Jonas and Caitlin. I don't know how often I would have loved to kick Caitlin to make her see what she misses and what she needs but she was sweet and very lovable at the same time and her issues were understandable considering her history. And Jonas, well, this guy did everything right. Okay, less cheesy jokes would have been nice, maybe, but Caitlin loved them, so who am I to judge.

Once again a wonderful story, well-written and with a storyline very different from Fake Wife, the first book in the series (I don't know the second one yet, so I can't say anything about that one) which makes it even better. Sometimes the different books in a series are just some variations of one and the same story, really good but still very much alike, this is definitely not the case with these books. I love our hero and our heroine, their story and their chemistry, and I love how all of those friends care for each other. I mean...

"This is why best friends rock. They know you have a favorite knife and keep it clean just in case you make an emergency, post-horrible blind date visit." (chapter 5)

I mentioned that those blind dates were different right? And in case of such an event, you need your friends. And a good knife. Well, who could need more?
28 Dates is book with many twists and turns and a great story that I really enjoyed reading.



 

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Wednesday, 12 June 2019

One Indecent Night: A West Sisters Novel #1 by A.M. Hargrove

















Blurb:

From USA Today bestselling author, A.M. Hargrove, comes One Indecent Night (A West Sisters Novel #1) a new stand alone, friends to lovers, contemporary romance. This is the first in a spin-off series from The West Brothers Novels. You do not have to read any of The West Brothers Novels to enjoy this book.

The day I saw Sylvie West standing next to the bride,
something moved in me I was certain had died.
I’d known her since she was a pain-in-the-ass kid, but she was my best friend’s cousin,
and off limits.
He also told me he’d strangle me if I ever laid a hand on her.
When she downed tequila like water at the reception, and then danced on the table, all bets were off.
She was my kind of woman, and forbidden or not, I was going to make her mine.
Only when morning broke, I woke up to a different Sylvie—one who didn’t remember a single thing about the passion-filled night we’d shared.
Now, I had to prove I was the one who was meant for her.
After she put up one obstacle after another, the time had come to pull every trick out of my hat.
And Sylvie had no idea I was one tricky bastard.
But the last thing I ever expected was for her to turn the tables and play the final trick on me.


If you love friends to lovers, second chance romances, with raw emotion and splashes of humor, then download One Indecent Night today.



I've read all the stories about the West Brothers and I couldn't wait to see what life (and love) had in store for their sister. Considering the prologue I expected a lot of fun and there was a lot of that too but on the whole, it was a bit different than I expected. There were a lot of things happening in this book and sometimes I even felt a bit overwhelmed by it. At every turn, there was something else happening, very often something potentially life-altering and intense and I tried to keep up with it.

Evan and Sylvie had their issues and their personal histories to overcome and sometimes that backfired. A lot. Add some meddling siblings and cousins, a whole string of unexpected events and twists and turns and sometimes I felt as if I had loved to get to know our hero and our heroine a bit better instead of rushing with them from place to place.

Don't get me wrong, Evan was sweet and kind and I loved how he cared for Sylvie but it was a bit hard to learn more about him, especially as it was not really palpable what changed him and made him give up his womanizing ways. Sylvie on the other hand, well, she kept him on his toes and made him work for it. She wasn't someone who simply fell for him just because he decided that he wanted to spend his life with her even though she felt a lot for him either.

While everything that is happening and keeping them running around makes it a bit hard to really connect, to feel with the characters (you will still need tissues, trust me), you just have to envy them their family and the way those people stick together and are there for each other - even if their meddling can drive you crazy. Or result in a trip to the hospital...


Monday, 10 June 2019

Guarding the Billionaire (Justin Trainer #1) by Jane Harvey-Berrick






"Close protection, bodyguards, we’re deeply misunderstood.
We’re not unthinking, uncaring masses of muscle and testosterone, we have feelings, too.
I’m a guy totally in touch with my emotions: I fucking hate my ex-wife."


*** 
 
It's a black comedy, no wait, a romcom ... um ... a thriller, maybe suspense, and erotic with a bit of BDSM and a super hot bodyguard looking after his billionaire boss.

It's definitely not all black and white...


 ***

I've read several books by Jane Harvey-Berrick up to now but I never know what exactly to expect. In this case, I had a bit of a hard time with our hero's boss and his sexuality or rather the ways he is living his sexuality. Despite the fact that we learn a lot about the billionaire's sexuality and his preferences, he stays a bit vague, a bit flat. We know that he may be bi or asexual or ...whatever but we definitely know that he is deeply troubled.

I must admit that I don't like all this BDSM stuff and all that (I hadn't realized that there would be elements of that in the story even though we just hear about it as something that happens in the background) but in this case, my problems stemmed from the fact that Anderson, our billionaire boss, is deeply troubled and doesn't seem to be able to deal with his own lifestyle - or his other problems. He seems to be nice but... And he is not the only one who is messed up and the more we learn about that, the more I was upset. Buuuut- back to our hero and lets finally get to our heroine as well.
Justin Trainer, ex-military, now bodyguard, has a lot of baggage with his wife getting a divorce and keeping him from his daughter when he is also dealing with all the - let's say...interesting...aspects of Anderson's life while trying to protect him. I must also admit that I was almost a bit astonished when I realized that there is a heroine who will very soon become an important part of Trainer's life because I wasn't sure when I read the blurb where his personal interests would lie. Those two though, they are sweet and I just love to see them together and I was so worried when things went south and ...well.

This was a book that shocked me, that also annoyed me, that made me laugh and when I turned the last page - I should have known better, I should have known that she'd do it again...and now I have to wait for the next book to find out how things go on. Did I mention that I hate cliffhangers? *sigh* I do. And I am waiting not so patiently now....
On the whole this book was completely different from what I expected and I had a bit of a hard time to get into it at the beginning but in the end, Jane Harvey-Berrick did her magic again and I really enjoyed this book.

 

"I’m contemplating the meaning of life. Philosophical questions. You know, deep shit that you only find at the bottom of a cold bottle of Bud."

 Curious? 
 Want to learn more? 



EXTRACT
 
There’s a certain technique to handling a naked girl—and I mean that in a strictly professional way.

This one looks about sixteen and she wasn’t expecting to see me. Probably because she’s hiding in the closet of Russell Vassal, lead singer of chart-topping boyband Rock Boys.

You’ve never heard of them? Yeah, well, count yourself lucky. I hadn’t heard of them either until I joined their world tour a month ago.

I grab a quilt off the bed, bundle her up and hand her off to a female security officer, hoping that when the kid sees her idols aren’t as squeaky clean as she thought, she’s not traumatized.
But at least she won’t lose her virginity tonight, because it’s my guess that’s what she’s offering. Jeez, she looks so young.

The blond kid, the drummer, is snorting coke off a pair of tits belonging to a red-haired groupie when my phone rings.

I see my wife’s name and my sphincter tightens. Against my better judgement, I answer.

I’m working, Carla.”

I want a divorce.”

I thought you’d never ask.”

Asshole.”

Bitch.”

These days, it’s what passes for a conversation with my wife of eleven years.

She takes a deep breath and I can hear the venom in her voice.

And I’m going for full custody of Lilly. It’s not like you ever see her anyway.”

The call drops and just like that, my evening is officially fucked.

Then the drummer, Derrick, comes in his pants while motorboarding Colombian marching powder.

Sighing, I signal one of the other bodyguards to take him to the bathroom and clean him up, or at least get the evidence out of sight. I’ve already confiscated every cell phone in the room, but I can’t afford to be too careful. There’s money in celebs making asses of themselves, and the person who has the evidence is gonna make some serious moolah.

I’m paid the big bucks to stop that from happening.

Milton, a heavyweight dude covered with tattoos and a scar down one cheek, throws me an annoyed look as he walks toward me, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he grabs the kid by his collar and manhandles him out of the room.

The groupie stares at me with huge brown eyes, the pupils shrunk to pinpoints. She strokes her tits and offers them up to me, her head cocked on one side.

What, no hello?

I’m not tempted in the slightest. Sloppy seconds from a groupie who’s serviced every guy on the tour bus including Jerome the geriatric driver? No thanks.

Besides, I wasn’t lying to Carla—this is my work. Currently, I’m on tour with the hottest boy band on the planet. At least, that’s what their marketing whizz kid tells me. All I know is that each day I have to listen to their crappy pop music that makes my ears bleed, and each night I have to watch them partying it up with groupies, hookers, and assorted suppliers—meaning dealers.

Their big hit is Strolling with Rocks. No, I’m not making that up.

I’m strolling with rocks
My life full of knocks
Gonna stick that shit
In a damn big box.

Teenagers love it because it’s deep.

The world is doomed.